adhd - ADHD treatment is a systems, multi-faceted process for the whole family

Many marriage problems arise from things that spouses say to each other that are annoying, anger provoking or hurtful. They set off chain reactions of alternating hurtful statements (arguments) that escalate as each partner retaliates for the other persons comment. Often, before long, both partners have forgotten what the original issue was. You can use WebCAER to extinguish these negative chain reactions that lead to arguments.

Each partner should make a five-minute digital recording of the things that they say to the other person that upsets that person. (How to create these sound files is described in the WebCAER: Creating Sound and Image files" article.)

If you don't know what you say that is upsetting, go ask your partner. Make a list of these phrases. Common annoying phrases are: “What did you do with my….”, Why do you always have to ……”, “We cannot afford that……”, “Why don’t you ever help around here?”, “Stop whining about ….”, “Why are you late?” Make a digital recording of these phrases.

It is also useful to take a digital picture of the other persons face expressing these negative phrases. (How to create these pictures is described in the WebCAER: Creating Sound and Image files" article.)

As you do WebCAER, have this picture of their face displayed and the soundtrack of their voice playing. Use it to help you conjure the feelings and memories you have when one of these emotional chain reactions happens between you and your spouse.